Welcome to Operation Seth Cohen!
This is a web site where I ask two questions:
Am I Seth Cohen? And, if not, can I become him?
Here you will be able to witness first hand my
transformation from ordinary to extraordinary.
I will become Seth Cohen.

Week 1:

Right now you're probably wondering, "Which one is Seth Cohen?"
And that is perfectly okay. With time, the resemblence
will be even greater that soon you will be asking yourself,
"Are there TWO Seth Cohens?"

Week 2:

Well, week one went well, and now that week two is upon us,
I have submitted the above photo to the web site so everyone can see
how far I've come and how much closer I am to becoming Seth Cohen.
I almost feel like I'm on one of those MTV shows. You know,
and the commercial would go something like, "Next time on MADE,
a lonely, pathetic young man from Redding, CA makes a fool of himself
in his meager attempt to become Seth Cohen from The O.C."
Ahh, what dreams may come...

So yeah, anyway, week 2's image of me is,
if I may say so myself, damn sexy.

Though you may ask, "Isn't that the same picture?"

And I would reply, "Can you not see that I'm wearing a sexier shirt and
have grown much more handsome in the first week?"

And you may go on to qestion, "Yes, I see that about the shirt,
but didn't you just cut and paste Seth's shirt over your own?"

And I would simply answer with a degradingly evil smerk at your worthless self
as you stand before me, rays of ignorance radiating from your soul.

Week 3:

So, yeah, I'm in debt a couple grand in light of my recent nose job
from Dr. Sackowitz. That's beside the point though. I have one goal in mind,
and nothing can come between Seth and me now, baby. Nothing!

Anyway, so I went in last week for a routine check-up with my family doctor
and mentioned my current transformation project to him while he was cupping my balls.
He said, "Nothing says 'I love you' like a nose job," and I knew just what I had to do.
He recommended Dr. Richard Sack and gave me directions to his office.

I gave it a shot. Turns out, Dr. Sackowitz is the most brilliant plastic surgeon this side of the Mississippi.
But I don't need to tell you that; It's easy to see from the evidence above.
In fact, I've been turning heads all week. The ladies dig it, the guys can't help but stare,
and I just can't wait to show Seth. My friends say I look retarded, but I can read
between the lines. I'm not stupid. They're just jealous of my stunning good looks, and
suave, stylish demeanor. Same thing happened with the "calf muscle implant" guy from MTV.
He looked damn sexy, but no one gave him the respect he deserved.

Anyway, I guess my only complaint is that the color of the skin on my nose
doesn't really match the color of the rest of my face anymore,
but Dick said give it a few weeks and it'll clear up. So I'm waiting it out.
Cause when I think about it, I would trust Dr. Sackowitz with my life.
Not to mention the lives of others.

Week... 6?

As you may know, The O.C. has been on vacation from television for a few weeks.
As soon as I found out about this vacation,
I took the liberty of planning a little trip of my own.
And let me tell you, it was a good one.

My main goals for these past few weeks were to clean myself up,
shape my rats nest of a hairdo, shave, get all the plaque off my teeth,
and make a surprise appearance on the actual set of The O.C.
Turns out, I was only able to pull off one of these.
And yes, oh yes, I finally made it to the set.

As you will see from the following picture, I was able to slip through security,
easily passing myself off as the handsome and talented Seth Cohen himself.
However, I felt that any direct contact with the star would be grounds
for getting thrown out, so I kept my distance and merely admired his beauty from afar.
Check it out man...

There you have it.
Turns out that the man barely visible in the background of this picture of Seth Cohen is me.
I was so excited when I found out. At first glance it is impossible to tell that it's me,
but using high-tech image resizing technology
I was able to digitally enhance that portion of the picture,
thereby revealing my presence on the set of The O.C.

Skeptics may ask, "But... same... picture... guy... standing... backwards... uh..."

And to those skeptics I say, "No, trust me... It's me baby. Me."

Now that I have finally seen Seth up close and personal,
I am optimistic that I can complete the transformation very soon.
We shall wait and see...

More to come soon...

Week 227?

So the operation sorta died for awhile there. Trying to become Seth Cohen is hard work.
However, I did something drastic and decided I'd post it for everyone to see (Hi mom!).

So here's the sitch:
Yesterday I was driving around in my automobile when I began to think, "Hmm, I'm kinda hungry."
And then I thought, "What if monkeys were domesticated instead of dogs. Wouldn't that be neat?
We'd have sheep herding Chimpanzees instead of Border Collies and little Marmosets instead of Chiwawa's.
And we'd go to the zoo and the most popular attraction would be the Mastiffs and the Saint Bernards
rather than the Orangutans and Gorillas." And then I thought,
"Whoa look, Supercuts, I should go get my haircut."
And that's where the decline of my social life began.

So I put my name in with the receptionist, and she said, "It'll be about 30 minutes."
And I thought, "Hmm, that's a lot of time to sit here. Maybe I should just leave."
And I should have. But then I thought, "No, I'll just wait it out;
I really need to get rid of SOME of this annoying hair." And then I picked up a recent issue of GQ.
I scoured the magazine comprised of endless photograph after photograph
of the hottest male specimens on the planet. Lindsay Lohan was also looking rather perky.
But past all that junk and tucked neatly into the last few pages of the magazine
was a set of photographs of yours truly, Seth Cohen. They called him Adam Brody for some reason,
but I could see right through that b/s. It was Seth, and Seth alone.
Anyway, he was looking rather dapper in his retro, sleek, short cut suits for about one grand an outfit.
And I thought, "Wow, I could never afford clothes like that, nor would I ever want to."
But then I thought, "However, I do like that new hairdo he's sporting.
Gosh, he's so god damn sexy." And then I heard someone call out, "Kurt."
It was my turn in The Chair. I swear to god I feel like I'm on death row every time I go to this "Supercuts" place.
And that's another thing, there really isn't anything "Super" about the damn place.
It should be called Poopercuts. Cause everyone's hair always looks like poop when they leave.
However, this time I had high hopes. It was a spur-of-the-moment type thing
and I thought maybe it would be more fruitful than my past experiences.
Anyway, long story short, I showed the lady the beautiful pictures of Seth Cohen and said,
"Cut my hair like this." She said OK and proceeded to ruin my life with her
electric clippers and a No. 6 guard. As chunks of my beautiful brown locks fell to the floor,
an occasional tear trickled down my cheek. Ten minutes later, I had a really horrible
knock-off Seth Cohen schoolboy style hairdo and a soaked pair of pants
from the urine I couldn't manage to contain in a sudden moment of shock at the sight of the final product.
I know what you're all thinking (Hi Dad!)... "So, what does it look like?"
Well, because it's so horribly bad, I decided to scale down the image to a grainy one inch my one inch size. And... wa la!